Being in a relationship can be exciting, but as feelings grow, it’s normal to ask yourself, “Where is this going?” Having a talk about what the relationship means is important so both of you know where you stand. The timing and how you bring it up really matter, so here’s a simple guide to help.
Why This Talk Matters
Asking “What are we?” helps you both understand how you feel about each other and what you want from the relationship. Without this talk, you might keep hoping for more when the other person doesn’t feel the same.
When to Have the Talk
There’s no exact right time, but here are signs that you should have the conversation:
- You’re Feeling Unsure: If you keep wondering how they feel or what you are to them.
- You Spend a Lot of Time Together: If things are getting more serious than before.
- You’re Catching Feelings: If you like them more and want to know if they feel the same.
- You Want to Introduce Them to Family/Friends: That’s a big step—best to check if you’re on the same page.
- You Want a Serious Relationship: If you’re looking for commitment, it’s only fair to ask where they stand.
How to Start the Conversation
To keep things calm and respectful, try the following:
- Choose the Right Time: Talk when you’re both relaxed and not stressed.
- Speak Honestly: Share how you feel and what you’re hoping for.
- Don’t Push: You’re not forcing a decision, just opening up a conversation.
- Ask Open Questions: Try something like, “How do you feel about where this is going?” instead of “Are we dating or not?”
What Might Happen
There are a few ways things could go:
- You Both Want the Same Thing: Great! Now you can move forward together.
- They Need More Time: That’s okay too, if you’re willing to wait.
- You Want Different Things: If your goals don’t match, it might be time to think about what’s best for you.
What to Avoid
Keep the talk healthy by avoiding these:
- Don’t Assume How They Feel: Ask instead of guessing.
- Don’t Talk During a Fight: Wait until things are calm.
- Don’t Give Ultimatums: The point is to understand each other, not to pressure them.
After the Talk
Once you’ve talked, things should be clearer. If you’re both in sync, enjoy building the relationship. If not, you’ll know it’s time to rethink what you want and need.